My Sincerest Condolences (2017Oct23)


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Monday, October 23, 2017                                               2:13 PM

Condolences   (2017Oct23)

I want to express my heartfelt condolences to the United States of America. Losing so many of your treasured offspring, all at once, must cause unimaginable heartbreak.

Your Separation of Church and State—your eldest—the engine of your supremacy–finally succumbing to the vermin gnawing at her roots.

Your Democracy—between being sold out and being taken for granted—has unbarred the door to ignorance and division, becoming a front for autocracy.

Your Republican Party has devolved into a virtual cesspit—quite openly and publicly–and the fact that they still beat the Democrats proves that the Voters (though less than half of them have earned the right to describe themselves so—except as, perhaps, ‘abstentions’) have forgotten that ‘We the People’ implies some minimal amount of involvement.

Your Freedom of the Press has been imprisoned by media conglomerates—seeking only our attention, not our health—and the news has become a siren song, distracting us from the deadly rocks before us—to focus on an old man’s Twitter-feed.

And that same dirty old man has obliterated your most august Office of the Presidency—coating it with the slime of incompetence, disrespect, oafishness, and treason. His treason is multi-pronged—he attacks the Constitution because it won’t let him be a dictator—he attacks our ideals because he is a misogynist, racist, classist prig—he attacks our education because he doesn’t value knowledge as much as money—and he attacks our self-respect by telling blatant lies, right to our faces, daring us to do anything about it.

O America! You’ve heard bullshit before—it shouldn’t surprise you that the pig who claimed it wasn’t great, by saying he would make it great ‘again’, has leached out every drop of greatness garnered in your two-hundred-plus years of glory. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.

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If The President Should Phone (2017Oct21)


Saturday, October 21, 2017                                              2:21 PM

First off, there’s the question of whether a good American can speak to Trump without getting themselves put on the Secret Service’s watch-list—but if you should pick up the phone—what would you say? I’ve tried to imagine it. But I don’t believe I could carry on a civil conversation—I would launch directly into my lecture.

Does that seem pushy? Well, let’s see—he’s had two years of having his every twitter-fart put on the front page of every paper—every time he opens his mouth, there are fifty cameras and 100 mics focused on his fat phiz. Even if he were a thoughtful, educated speaker—it’s still time for someone else to get a turn talking—don’t you think? Anyway:

“Hello, Mr. President! Would you please resign your office as soon as you possibly can? You are not on television! Yes, other people are putting you on TV—but that’s because you’re the president. You don’t work for the entertainment business anymore—just let them do their work—and you try to do yours.

I know, I know—they’re all paying attention to you. But your hair is on fire, Mr. President—in a manner of speaking—people are not shouting and pointing at you because they like you—I’m sorry. It just doesn’t work like that. (You have to be nice for people to like you—never mind—we’ll talk about that some other time.)

It’s sad that you’re not really touchy-feely—it would be an enormous boon to a president. We get that you have no idea how to console a grieving gold-star family member—that shit is hard—and you have no military experience. It would have been better if you’d run for head Warden of prisons—you coulda fired a bunch of those non-violent drug-offenders—send’em right out the door of all those penitentiaries—whotta show, man. You screwed up.

What do you know about being president? Nothing. And these last nine months haven’t been a learning experience for you at all—they’ve just been nine months of proof that you were unprepared and unfit for the most solemn and sacred duty any American can possibly perform. How you could go from spoiled rich kid to lecherous old dude, without learning a thing—that’s a mystery.

But, still, if you resign right now, you can end the suffering—let America go back to being run by the competent crooks. And hey, just think, you can go back to being paid to be on TV. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

Trump May Destroy World ‘At Any Time’ (2017Oct13)


Friday, October 13, 2017                                         5:11 PM

Trump May Destroy World ‘At Any Time’   (2017Oct13)

When we hear our Fearless Flatulence announce that he disagrees with a global agreement on Global Warming, he contradicts the whole world—and all the hard-working Americans who helped bring the world together for the agreement. Years, decades for some, of effort—thrown away on a whim by the Mighty Fart of Freedom—and with it, probably, our best hope of leaving a livable world for our youngsters.

When the Spammer-in-Chief decides something is wrong—like ‘everything Obama ever did’—you can trust him to destroy it—even if the Republicans scruple over screwing millions of Americans out of healthcare. If he has to ignore the law and withhold funds to make it all fall apart—well, he wasn’t a shady businessman all his life just to fall apart when he can malfease on a global scale. And who’s gonna stop him—the gutless Freedom Caucus? The moderate GOPs owned by lobbyists? I don’t think so—no sign of that, so far, certainly.

Trump isn’t happy unless he’s defying absolutely everybody. That’s why he’s so dead-set on destroying the Iran deal—it is such a stupid move that even his own administration, to a man, is screaming for him not to de-certify.

His ‘threat’ to trash the Iran Deal “at any time”—is really a boast. He’s not threatening Iran. He’s boasting to the whole world—that he, Trump, can do any fucking, numb-nuts, stupid-ass thing he wants to do.

He’s proud of his potential to flush the entire world (and especially America) right down the toilet—he’s got a sick-ass smirk on his face lately. It seems to say, “You want to ridicule me? Okay, how about I blow up the whole world, pal? I’m seventy—what do I care? We’ll see who’s laughing then.

Trump’s recent behavior reminds me of my freshman year at SUNY-Oswego. We were crammed in, three to a room, due to overcrowding—my roommates were Lance and Bob. Bob had a gun. He used to take it out and point it at my face. He was disappointed when I didn’t die of fright, even when he kept playing around with the gun and pointing it at me—so he finally shot a hole in my pillowcase, near my head. Some people don’t understand respect—they figure that fear is close enough—and become desperate to prove they are scary.

But, sorry, Trump—the worry and disgust we feel towards you is the exact opposite of respect. The swathe of destruction you’ve carved through Obama’s efforts of the previous eight years—that gains you the same respect we’d have for a little bully who kicks over his friend’s sand castles—that is, none at all.

And all you Trump Lemmings out there—let me clue you in—I don’t hate Trump because he won (I hate you for that, you traitors)—I hate Trump because he’s wrong. Trump is wrong about everything he says, everything he does, everything he thinks—he is a psychopath which you dear morons have given immense power—you might as well light up an M-80 and shove it up your ass. That’s exciting too—but you may not care for the ending.

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Trump, Liar and Racist (2017Oct06)


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Friday, October 06, 2017                                         7:58 PM

Trump, Liar and Racist   (2017Oct06)

We’re in a tight spot—Trump is a worse choice than a drunken sow—in fact, an intoxicated pig would do less harm. Yet the hypocrites in Congress are too corrupt to impeach a man who is clearly both incompetent and a ‘clear and present danger’ to the nation.

Friend of mine on FB posted: “The calm before the storm”?? WTF is our zany, dumbass game show host “President” (albeit, illegitimate) talking about?

And I replied:

“It’s easier to create suspense when there is no coherent thread from one day to the next. Trump can say anything vague—and it might refer to any one of the fifty messes he’s either made, or neglected,—or made inexcusably worse by his involvement. Since when is smirking and winking at the cameras the behavior of a president? But it’s like I always say—you can’t have a hate-filled pus-bag retain the Oval Office without a lot of shamelessly corrupt Congressmen neglecting to impeach him.”

So that’s where we start from today. And every day is a new start—though I do not mean that in a good way. Trump’s greatest strength is his ability to fracture our focus—to lightly leap from one shocking stupidity to the next, day after day. He is not burdened, as prior office-holders were, by any responsibility to be a sober, serious leader of the nation. His supporters did not elect him to be that—and he is taking them at their word.

But we mustn’t let the media sit around looking innocent—they are like-whores, ratings sluts, and shills for whatever big sponsor writes a check. Donald Trump has made the news-media rich—and they, in return, are helping him destroy America by covering him obsessively. When I want a daily report on the Tweetings of a senile psychotic who never outgrew his high-school bullying phase, I’ll ask for that very important reporting. Until then, Media, please stop legitimizing his clownish pretenses at leadership.

If our fucking president has something to say (that isn’t unwelcome ignorance, or a bald-faced lie) he can give a goddamned speech—in complete sentences—that speaks plainly. Not a fucking Nuremburg rally—not a call-and-response chant fest—not criticism of the first amendment—a speech—such as a grown man with practical ideas would give. I know it’s not fair to ask of Trump something he couldn’t possibly produce—all I’m saying is, “Trump, we’ve heard all your bullshit. You’ve made it clear you haven’t a functional brain cell in your melon. Could you pretty-please shut the fuck up?”

And I can say that—secure in the knowledge that Trump is too stupid to ever shut his big fat mouth. And crotchety old men may be amusing for a time—but a little mindless rage, suspicion, and egotism goes a long, long way. His supporters may be too stubborn ever to renounce him—but they can be relied on, as human beings, to get bored to death with him—sooner than later.

It’s funny—a person can be an intellectual giant, a talented success—at many things—at any things—and still be devoid of self-knowledge. A wealthy, well-educated guy can spend his whole life fighting to support some of the most transparently idiotic bullshit—and, as often as not, it is the wealth and cleverness that convinces him that he is right, despite anything anyone else can say to the contrary.

That is not to say that there aren’t plenty of just plain dumb-asses out and about in the world—but when the entitled are dead wrong, they are far less likely to get their faces rubbed in it, early and often, like regular joes would. If CEOs had any sense, they wouldn’t be more sure than anyone else—they’d be less sure—knowing that no one else is comfortable being honest with them.

Trump is a prime example of such morons (if I may quote the Secty-of-State). He mistakes the eagerness of those around him to keep their jobs, for agreement with whatever foolish nonsense spills out of his mouth. He’s cut corners and broken rules his whole life—and never gotten stuck with the consequences, like the rest of us would, and have.

How can he be expected to tell rational acts from criminal acts? No, once again we see, Trump is far more the fault of the trolls who egged him on and voted for him—he was patently reckless and amoral before the election. Yes, he ran for president—but even he didn’t expect America to be stupid enough to elect him.